Letter #20 - A blue-grey kind of day.

A lot of blank space here... gives you time to think about all the things we miss that we can't fit through the wires.

I find myself sometimes staring at the screen wondering what exactly I am looking for here... as if there is something, somewhere on this vast internet, that will somehow fill the void or numb the feeling or enlighten my bored mind.  Maybe if I google the meaning of life or somehow stumble across the perfect most inspiring blog then suddenly everything will fall into place! 

But really what I need in these moments are all the friends who have moved far away, and who knew me all those years ago when I wasn't a mother or a teacher or a wife.  Sometimes I just need to sit with them and remember when we would sit on the roof and drink tea and look at the stars... or be reminded of when I woke up in the rain, yet in my bed, on one of my first nights as Christina's roomie...  or the time I came home and she was sitting on her bed sobbing amongst a huge pile of clothes on the floor.  I was so astonished to see anything out of place that I didn't know if I should ask her what happened to her CLOTHES or what happened to her, and in the end I don't think I asked anything at all, just sat there and waited for the story to unfold. 

What I really need in these moments isn't an email or even a phone call, I need a jet plane to fly me off to Toronto or Montreal or Calgary or Nashville!  But you know what seems to be the next best thing?  A letter.  A piece of frail paper fed into my Olympia de Luxe, typed out from the heart, and put in the mail where it will be received in 2 days or maybe 17 days... depending on the weather, the distance, and the mood of Canada Post that week.  And when that dear friend gets it in the mail, she might be changing diapers or drowning in laundry or sitting staring at her own screen wondering what she needs... and there will be a glimpse of the past, a note from a faraway friend who misses her dearly and still remembers the little things we did together.

A picture snapped in Halifax on Michael & Christina's honeymoon